If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again, if I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend..
Absolutely, ridiculously exhausted right now :/, but I had a good day :D. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and just relaxed the rest of the day. Today my little sister came over. We went to the Festival Bay Mall, shitty, walked around. I bought her an Owl City shirt, hair bows, and earings for school. We then had pizza and went to the movies to see Twilight:Eclipse…..fml. Goddamn that movie was longer than I thought it would be. I still don’t understand why the Jacob squad had to be shirtless the whole time -_-. I was absoultely exhausted when we got home from all the walking. Made cookies and pizza rolls for my sister and watched Zombieland, then painted her nails <3 Aside from the roomate drama that went on today and realizing what shitty friends I have, and walking in to a public restroom with poop literally stacked above the toilet bowl……, I had a good day :) Work tomorrow night, and right now my back is throbbing and I KNOW FOR A FACT, that I will be feeling this tomorrow regardless of how much rest I get. Idk might call in :/ even tho I know my next paycheck is gonna be shitty as fuck. I think I have enough food tho to last me a month lol. Only problem is my phone bill, shit always fucks me up -_- Sick of this heat, I wish it were November already, even tho I hate the holidays.
Just downloaded LIGHTS new acoustic EP. I’m in love with it. Went to the doctor last friday, apparently whats wrong with me is all stress related. Been sick for a few days now tho, fever and all. Slept 16hours yesterday. Had a bit of a scare last friday while being home alone. I get all paranoid and shit, I hate it. Got news of a close friend leaving state, try to tie mends with another friend but I can’t help but feel how it’s going to end anyways. Been making new friends, getting along better with my mother. Currently 6 am. Going to bed. Back to work tonight then the weekend. Plans to meet an old friend in the afternoon friday then go out with a couple of other friends I just kinda met. Saturday I go to the movies with my little sister, and Sunday might go to St. Augustine with my family, then back to work. Stupid me just wants to stay home and relax, I’m just no fun. Wish i had the energy i had last summer. Sick of feeling like I’m 50. good day :3
I cannot sleep. Left work around midnight cause I wasn’t feeling well. Felt sleepy on the way home. Took a shower, and then when I finally lay in bed all the sleepiness goes away. Insomnia. Why, for the past couple of months, has it gotten so bad. Why can’t I feel this awake during the day. I’m sick of always feeling tired and sleepy regardless of how much sleep I get. I do not blame it on working the night shift cause I’ve been doing it for more than a year and never felt this way before. Feel like something very bad is happening to me. I need to see a doctor ASAP. On a lighter note…..no there is no lighter note. Just heard a huge crash outside my bedroom. Why is this damn house so noisy. I’m always on edge here, especially when I’m home alone. I used to have major anxiety attacks, lately they’ve been under control without medication. These headaches that I get give me anxiety. They make it hard to concentrate and I panic. I am currently feeling a little sleepy but I know if I jump in bed now all I’ll do is toss and turn and end up waking Randall up. Wish it was Friday already. Wish the holidays were here, fall and winter. The cold air, I really miss it. Down here in Florida though we don’t get that cold air til mid November. oh well. Gonna watch more adult swim and put some cold towels on my head, the only thing that eases this headache.
Thinking bout tomorrow won't change how I feel today
Woke up around 9 am. Took an hour in a half nap around 5pm. Woke up lounged around, ate chinese. Just took 2 tylenol pm’s almost an hour ago and I’m wide awake -___-. When I am up alone all kinds of things run through my head. Think from now on I’m gonna drink lots and lots of water. I am gaining too much weight due to my birth control. I suddenly miss my dogs back at my parents house. Wish I lived in one big ol house where we can all live together. Just me and my 4 wonderful doggys: Bubbles, Chester, Cinnamon, and Molly<3 I want a Nikon d300 but I have no money. I want an Asus netbook but I have no money. I want new jeans but I have no money. I need to see a doctor and my obgyn but I have no money. I want to move into an apartment closer to my friends and family…but I have no money. I guess this is just another obstacle I need to try to get over. I love my boyfriend, no one has made me as happy as he has lately. He is asleep right now but i have the sudden urge to go wake him up and kiss him and tell him how much I love him. Tomorrow is the 4th of July. I’ve got nothing planned. I will do anything tho to get out of this house which I’ve have been somewhat stuck in for the past two days, going a lil crazy. bye bye :3