The last time I was on here I was in massive pain from the swelling on the left side of my face. Finally saw the oral surgeon like 3 times this week. Everything looks ok, no infections. It is Friday and I barely have any swelling at all. The antibiotic he gave me worked miracles. I’m still having a hard time opening my mouth all the way, but he said to chew gum and use a hot pad on my face which should help my jaw. I am also finally able to eat solid food. Last night I ate a publix sub, and my goodness it was fucking amazing. Couldn’t finish it tho, feel like my stomach shrunk from those 2 weeks of barely eating. Well I’d like to keep it that way ;) This week my anxiety has really been getting the best of me, idk if it’s cause I’m not on my birthcontrol at the moment or if its this house. Or it could be the fact that I’m gonna be broke for the next few weeks. I don’t even know how I’m going to pay my phone bill. I hate stress so very much, especially when it involves money. Can’t wait to start my 12 hour schedules. It’s pouring outside. I have a feeling I’m gonna be spending this friday in doors again :P
Hate my life right now. Been in severe pain all day. Can’t even talk. Boyfriend had to make all these phone calls for me. He contacted my doctor and even had to call my job and let them know I can’t come in tonight. Then payed $50 for an antibiotic for me. He’s truly the best thing to ever come into my life. Then some family drama came out of nowhere which has me stressed out even more. I just wanna eat solid good food, I just wanna feel no more of this awful pain. I don’t wanna be broke anymore. I just want some peace in my life for fucking once :s
Sooo I think I might have lockjaw. Lucky lucky me right? Today was not such a great day…well…it ended ok. I was an emotional wreck the first half of the day seeing how much pain I was in and how my swelling had not gone down at all!! I was going stir crazy here at home and was looking foward to going out with my mom. Had to call her and tell her that I couldn’t. I was in no shape to be going out shopping. After that I had a huge breakdown. I can’t even open my mouth wide enough to swallow a damn pill. I have to jam it in there, if I’m not careful I’ll chip a tooth. All this just really got to me today and I was really really down. My little brother finally came over to hang out its nice to see him for more than just 5min. He’s grown so much. We ordered pizza and watch silly paranormal shows and then Jackass the movie. Then a couple of old friends of mine came over for a visit which I really appreciate, I hadn’t seen them in forever. Time to try and sleep -___- night night <3
God I am about to go stir crazy in here. Alone, in pain, barely having anyone to talk to. I hate this. I hate when people wait til the last minute to invite me anywhere when ive been here all day. I’m sick of being in pain. I’m sick of looking like I have a double chin because I’m so swollen. I’m sick of shitty friends. Just wanna go crawl under a rock right now :(
3 days after the surgery and I’m still in massive pain. I don’t wanna keep taking all these meds, I’m terrified of causing harm to my liver. I called my oral surgeon practically in tears. I was on Percocet, which worked but only for an hour. It was outta my system way to fast which made my pain come back even faster. He then prescribed me Hydrocodone. I have been taking that every 5 to 6 hours with two ibuprofens. They have been working and keeping the pain away for a decent amount of time. But when the pain returns, it returns with full force. Its pain to where I feel like my face is going to explode. I hope to god its all gone withing the next two days. Just can’t do it anymore. On top of that the meds make me itch terribly. My poor bf is worn out from taking care of me, I need to make it up to him somehow, cause I feel awful :( Right now got done watching Spice World, ohhh the memories. And now I’m watching Rugrats season 1 on netflix :D gonna make a hotpocket pizza, I’m hungry again!! Around 9 my bf made chicken and mashed potatoes for me, the chicken was harder to eat than I thought it would be. After I eat I need to try to sleep. 3 hours here and 5 hours there is killing me. Goodnight…or morning…fuck it :P
Sitting in the living room, anxiously waiting for it to be time to take my pain meds. I think sleeping just irritates my mouth even more, so i end up waking up in massive pain and even more swollen then I was when I went to bed :(What makes things even worse is that I think I’m allergic to the meds they gave me and its the only thing helping with my pain at the moment. Can’t wait til 9 am so that I can call my oral surgeon and let them know how much pain I am in and how I’m allergic to the pain meds. Hopefully the can prescribe me something just as strong or one that lets me sleep and not make me dizzy. All this pain is giving me massive anxiety. I can’t take it anymore :(
Today was somewhat shitty. Got the wisdom teeth taken out. Almost threw up right after tho cuz of how dry my mouth was. Felt ok and numb or a few hours and then the pain kicked in. I was just now able to take something else for it. I need some sleep cause the medication they gave me doesnt let me and I’m exhausted. Not to mention starving. Soooo bad want a publix deluxe roast beef sub, biscuits from popeyes, Pizza hut stuffed crust pizza, and taco bell hard tacos. All I can have at the moment is icecream, jello, or yogurt. Tomorrow I can eat warm foods but uggh I know I’m still gonna be starving. Can’t wait til this is all over. Gonna have a feast when it is :P On a good note it was nice to spend the day at my parents with my mom, siblings and dogs, I missed them so much :3 especially Chester <3
“Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I’ve walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, and above.”—Gia
About to go to the dentist or..oral surgery clinic to get my wisdom teeth taken out. Only my bottom two. I don’t wanna have to pay an extra $500 for the top two when they are not even extracted yet. Then I’ll be taken to my parents house being that no one will be home at my other house. Boyfriend couldn’t take work off :(on the plus side tho I get to spend time, even tho I might not remember it, with my dogs Chester, Cinnamon, and Bubbles who live with my mom. Mashed potatoes, popsicles and anything else slighly liquified for the rest of the week. YESSSUH!! :P
Pretty much been in bed almost all day watching Dirty Job with naps in between, actually my entire weekend has consisted of dirty jobs and naps ….and taco bell. First half of the day wasn’t very pleasant. I woke up in a raging mood and with an awful headache. Took my headache medication which did calm me down but did not take away my headache and made me sleep instead :P Went to the pharmacy and picked up some medicine for my wisdom tooth surgery tomorrow. Then went to the grocery store to find some food I can actually chew after the surgery. Got mashed potatoes, apple sauce, and ravioli. Probably not gonna remember tomorrow. Gonna be so out of it. Gonna end up missing more work too, gahhh my next paycheck is going to be so shitty :P oh well, I have someone who loves me and won’t let me starve <3
Shit were do I start………Well last friday went to the dentist. They were super shitty I waited 40 min just to get a damn xray. Afterwards went shopping with my friend Devan. It was a total cluster fuck. I hate shopping. We then went back to my house and got dressed. The rest of the night was amazing even tho I felt a little out of place. The next day my boyfriend took me to toys r us and Fairvilla. The rest of the week was just super stressful because of this horrible pain in my mouth from my wisdom tooth. After a few fights with my insurance company and a couple of dental offices I’m finally getting this shit pulled out Monday morning. As much as I hate anything involving surgery or the dentist I’m excited to be able to eat regular food again. Last night I hung out with my bestfriend Ayla for the last time. Today she moves to New York :( I cried. I’m going to miss her so much. I just hope she’s careful and keeps in touch. All the good friends move so far away. Today is my bf’s bday, and its friday the 13th…should be an interesting day :3
It’s been a bad week but I have high hopes of it ending very well starting with going shopping tomorrow afternoon with a new friend of mine who is definitely growing on me. To start off, mothernature just loves to make me miserable. The pain was so bad my doctor had to fax a note to my job saying that I cannot work when I am in that shape. My job being as physical as it is, the managers understood and let me take off work. On top of that though, I had all these important phone calls to make, cramps or no cramps, about finding a dentist that takes my insurance. Found one and have an appt. friday afternoon. Then my anxiety got the best of me. Whenever that happens, I sleep a whole day and wake up feeling drained. It’s an awful feeling. After the dentist I’m going shopping to find something to wear tomorrow night when me and some female friends go out. Should be pretty interesting cause its not really my scene hmm. :3
Bad Bad day. Mother nature really hates me. I even had to leave work early cause of the pain. My manager thinks I was faking it. I’m sorry if I’ve had the bad luck of being really sick lately. On top of that I might have to miss alot of work this week or next week, depending on when I do it, to get my wisdom teeth removed. Tomorrow is when I’m gonna call and make an appointment. My head is killing me. Went to the pharmacy to get my medication for headaches and they were closed :( Ever since I moved here my health has declined, I hate it. It’s already August, next month marks a year that I have been out on my own. oh my ….so much has happened since then…sooo much.
Xanax, take me to the moon, backyard, I'm gonna see you soon
Well Saturday is just about over. I have done nothing this weekend but stay home and sleep. This past week I have had tremendous pain in the left side of my mouth. Turns out my wisdom teeth are growing. fml. Have to go see a dentist this week. Been taking lots of ibuprofen and this numbing creme for my mouth. Its all swollen and makes chewing difficult. Aside from that. I am growing closer to someone I just became friends with. Me and her are alot alike but so different at the same time. We are planning on going shopping and then out next Friday night. Chipmonk looking or not I’m going. I’m hoping this is all a start to a wonderful friendship. Today I tried making plans with an old friend. Said she was grounded, turns out she had someone else over. I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I should continue even trying. It hurts, it really really hurts. Listened to be your own PET all weekend and saved loads of Jemina Pearl Pictures to my laptop. Love her!! Been pretty inspired by her lately. Trying not to give a shit anymore is hard. I bought a gallon of apple juice today and its almost gone. I am currently hungry for pizza hut stuffed crust pizza. Super sleepy but I know once I hit bed I’m gonna wake up. Work tomorrow night. This week might suck really hard or not be too bad.