Waiting for my friend to call me for us to go out. Think she is fashionably late! I’m sleepy. I almost wanna call her up and say forget it and leave it all for tomorrow cause this sleepiness is starting to give me a headache. Can’t wait to recieve my package from Forever21 tomorrow with my studded boots and cuppycake earings and other goodies :) Having somewhat of a good week, cept my paycheck is kinda shitty and I’m afraid to call my mom since I have not called her all week. fml
I’m a lil behind :D The best thing to happen to me this week is when I get my studded boots from Forever21 along with my cute lil top, hat, and cupcake earings. Or….going out with friends for fucking once -__-
I don’t get this anymore but before I knew who LIGHTS was, I’d wear headbands because seeing Hanna Beth wear them made me wanna wear them lol. Well someone saw LIGHTS old navy commercial and showed me how they think I looked like her, not that I mind, I LOVE LIGHTS now and she is gorgeous. That commercial is what lead me to be such a huge fan now. But back then she was not too much of a big deal to me, and then after that my bangs grew out and the whole combover thing made me look even MORE like her. Honestly, I don’t see it, I truly think its the dark makeup and the hair. Other than that I think she is 100 times prettier than I am. I’m just super chinky looking. I no longer get the whole “omg you look like LIGHTS” thing anymore, and I don’t mind. I now have bangs….well fuck now she has side bangs.. and mine are growing…fuck I give up -__- <3
Like is a wierd word to me its like loving something but now really. Anyways at the moment I like my best friend Estefani Cristalino. For the past 2 years she has been through quite a bit, like moving out of the country. It wasn’t something she wanted to do, she had no choice actually. Out of all the female friends I have been through she is the only one who has bothered to be there for me even tho she lives over a million miles away. That to me is a true friend. And no I do not like her, I LOVE her<3
Yesterday was such a day of relief for me. I guess I wont be super broke for the next few weeks. A program at work helped me pay my rent so now I have enough money to by groceries, and even pay a couple of bills. Possibly even take my molly in for grooming :3 Been home all morning but I’m ok with that, haven’t been in this much of a good mood in quite sometime. Currently eating sesame chicken from last nights takeout, soooooooo good. Lately idk if I want to have bangs anymore, my are taking forever to grow back out, some days they look good, and some days I cannot tame them. Think Id just like some long side swept bangs for now.
The past couple of days were shitty. Sunday night at work was just awkward and an old friend proved to me that she did choose her position over friendship. I admit I do miss her and it makes me sad that she just dropped our friendship like nothing. People have done awful things to me..and I have still given them a chance to be my friend, am I dumb..or..? Today I woke up feeling very very sore but happy it was my day off. Got subway and went swimming with my love. It was nice to get out of the house and do something other than work, it was pretty relaxing cause the sun was going down and it was breezy out. When I’m with him nothing can get me down. He makes me so happy<3 I can’t sleep right now..well.. I wanna sleep ..but I don’t. I dont want my day off to end. Got work tomorrow night at 6 til 6 am. Then do it all again Wednesday night. Still under alot of stress with some stuff . I try not to think of it, but its just way too hard not to, I can’t keep on having these break downs, they cannot be good for my health.
Today was such a bad day. Cried myself to sleep several times. Sick of this house and never having money, yet working my but off at work to the point where its painful to move. I just don’t know anymore. Prayed today for the first time in I’d say a really really long time. That is how desperate I am….
"There’s something heroic about the way my fans operate their cameras. So precisely and intricately, so proudly, and so methodically. Like Kings writing the history of their people.
Its their prolific nature that both creates and procures what will late be percieved as the “kingdom.” So, the real truth about lady gaga fans lies in this sentiment: They are Kings. They are the queens. They write the hisory of the kingdom, while I am something of a devoted Jester.
It is in the theory of perception that we have established our bond. Or, the lie, I should say, for which we kill. We are nothing without our image. Without our projection. Without the spiritual hologram of who we persieve ourselves to be, or to become rather, in the future.
This has been a week full of break downs for me. Starting on monday -___- Just the thought that I might not have any money for food or anything else til mid october infuriates me. The person I pay my rent to, I no longer have respect for him. How am I suppose to stay positive when I’m broke and have no food. Yesterday I got so fed up I fled on my bike to the nearest park, got hit on by some nasty guy who kept watching me and following me. Then got caught in the pouring rain on the way home. A phone call from a friend tho helped me feel alot better. He told me as awful as I am feeling that I should go to work no matter what to get my mind off of things. Even tho I called in I showed up anyways and to my suprise for once had a good time at work. Definitely got my mind off of things. Then in the morning went to my moms house which made me feel even more better. Last year, today, September 9th, I moved out of my moms, I hated it there. But today I didn’t wanna leave. I felt so relaxed and idk protected there. I was disappointed when my bf showed up earlier than usual to pick me up. Got taco bell tho :D On top of the money issues tho, a little incident today got some more stress on my mind. I dont need this right now -__- Thank god for this bag of reeses, mmm :3
This week was the first week I started my 12 hour shifts. Work Sunday, Tuesdays, and Wednesday nights 6pm-6am. The first two days were not too bad, but by Wednesday I was dying of soreness and sleepyness. Still felt good tho to know that I worked a full week of work in only 3 days. I think I can get used to this c: Today is friday, I have nothing in store for today, I wouldn’t even mind actually if I spent it at home. Still can’t quite recover from work Wednesday. Still very sore :( Today I suddenly woke up craving for some cold cold weather. Its September so its close. Usually in florida if we’re lucky enough like last year, we get some cool days late september and early october, or late october. LIGHTS is coming in november, I’m def getting tickets. Excited to go to HHN this year and out of florida for thanksgiving. I guess you can say things are kinda looking up or in other words, life isnt gonna be so boring for the next couple of months :3